Snore, snore, quick, quick snore

Is there any better way to get the whole bed to yourself than snoring very loudly? I've tried stealing my wife's duvet (see Tracey's blog), we have one each, that didn't work. But a good regular rasp in the nasal department seems to work every time. Mind you I think I just got lucky last night, Tracey must be mellowing. There was a time when I would have been thrown out of the bedroom with my testicles tied round my neck just for breathing a bit heavily. If it continues I may have to camp out in the dining room.

Seriously though if anyone has a good cure for the old snore tell me. At the mo I am using a throat spray but seem to have over powered it. If I am not careful I might have to diet!

Well it's another day since I wrote those last 2 paragraphs, sometimes you have nothing to say and sometimes you are too busy to say anything. At the moment I'm grabbing a little time while I am making tea to just get back in to this. Not that I am over busy it's just that things are chaotic, in an understated way. Always little things to do.

Of course last night was dominated by Somerset's overwhelming victory against Northants in the T20 quarter finals. A certain victory at the Rosebowl beckons, how I love the boys.

Well today was Oncology day and I know that Tracey is writing about it. It is mainly (wholly and completely) about her, so I will leave her to give you details. The main thing for me and the kids is that the treatment will soon move on and I will be living with a baldy, baldy skinhead, Grant Mitchell look-alike and I will love her even more. Bandannas to the ready, no not bananas that would be stupid. It seems like we have been waiting for chemo for ages and we still have another 3 weeks to go.

On the children front Livi is putting a supreme effort in to fund raising, sometimes she shocks me with the things she does and then she just astounds me. Watch this space for any one of you who wants to join in with the fun she is arranging.

Vaughan and Adam continue to do boy stuff. Adam has been out with friends for most of the day. Don't know what they do. Vaughan has been catching up on his recorded shows, all WW1 stuff. He is just starting to think about getting back in to rugby training.

Well I continue my therapeutic walks and photography. today I give you another type of dragonfly, not the best picture as he wouldn't stay still. I also give you a few other prize photos from my collection. There is a bit of a wildlife theme going on here. This dragonfly is a bit redder than it looks in the photo and remains unidentified. 

The next few photos are of 2 butterflies and a sparrow hiding in out Sambuccus tree, can you spot her.

The final photo is a very artistic shot of the moon, whoooo one for all you hippies out there.

Well it's much later than when I started this, Toots and the Maytalls have finished singing for me and Olivia is watching Road War "Dats what you get when give some lip to a Traffic cop". Lee Boardman, best ever Corrie villain, worst cop show narrator. There is washing on and I want to have a proper sit down before bed.

Chris

There are times you need to take stock. We have been going through this thing for about a 6 weeks now and have reached some sort of lull, I have talked about it previously. Tracey is out with some friends tonight and I am trying to gather my thoughts and think about how we really are.

My initial "madness" has subsided. I am still worried but this is over shadowed slightly by how I am perceiving Tracey's recovery. She is recovering from the operation and I can't help feeling that she is getting better. That is a good thing, but of course chemo hangs over everything. The road to recovery is long (I know, with many a winding turn).

The Tinsley house is chaotic but functioning. The kids are helping as only they can, but hardly enough to be useful, hopefully when they are home with mum they will do more. They need a hard task master and that isn't me. I am driving them to and from school, doing the shopping,the cooking and the washing. I am continually tired, mainly because I am not used to hard work. My work are still being understanding and work will get easier from next week when the kids are on holiday.

The two things that have really helped me are doing this blog and the pictures that go with it. Tracey has informed me that I am "bloody obsessed" with it. She is wrong, but don't tell her. It's good to get some thoughts out on the page although some are better hidden away.

Anyway, what's been happening. Well Tracey has been getting many visits. Auntie Mary visited yesterday. We haven't seen her for a while and it's good to see her soldiering on. She had just driven from London and was meeting friends in Bath before going with them to Ireland. She still possesses her acerbic wit. And Tracey has been receiving lots of visits fom work and friends. Only 3 bunches of flowers at the moment and we've eaten all the chocs.

This evening Livi tried to kill me during her driving lesson. Lets just say the Range Rover had right of way and our little Micra would have been munched



My cousin Lyn visited on Tuesday night and I made tea. A bit of a disaster on the spag bol front. I didn't know it was possible to get it wrong. But we had a good chat and cakes from Markses. One interesting point from the evening, Lyns mum surname was cable and her grandad looked just like Vince Cable. Are they related, watch this space.

Finally I took the camera out today so I have some more pics. Also I include a few more from the carnival as I have been told I was horrible about it.

x

Chris

Carnival,apron strings and random violence

It was an eventful day on Saturday. When Melksham carnival comes to town everyone knows it. Even though, as a North Petherton/Bridgwater person I may scoff at the efforts of the Melksham crew (which is a bit rich coming from someone who has only ever been on float at Swindon carnival) they do spend a lot of time and effort to produce what is essentially a local display. I suppose I just expect more. I shall give you an example.

Melksham Float

Bridgwater Cart

Need I say more.

The procession passed off incident free, unless I include the dog who decided to crap right in front of us and our house. At least the owner managed to clear it up (mostly).

It was really a bit of a day. We decided to loosen the apron strings a bit. Normally for Carnival/Party in the park we watch it together and go to the park with boys afterwards. They go off and do their thing but at least we are around. Livi has done her own thing for years. This time Tracey simply didn't want to go, it was a little bit too much for her, so we let the boys go on their own. Oh how those apron strings tugged. So off they went, Adam came back for the carnival but we did not expect to see them again till after the fireworks at 10:00.

At about 10:30 we got a text from Vaughan " I've been assaulted" panic! Tracey phoned "What happened? Stay where you are, dad will come and get you". I won't go in to too much detail but it seems that as Vaughan was leaving the park with his his friends some nice young man accused him of being a paedophile because he was talking with his, smaller, brother. Vaughan turned away somebody shouted "t**t him" and he ended up being rugby tackled and somebody stood over him and punched him until his friend Ely knocked him away and then it was all over. A quick chat to the police and I picked him up, bringing him back for his interrogation from mum. It was over almost before it had started. Not much damage done, a few back of the head bruises and just a bit shaken up. I am pleased he walked away and didn't make it much, much worse.

I suppose this is just typical small town violence and nothing compared to what would have happened if either Tracey or Livi had got hold of the perpetrators. What is also funny is that we already have a good idea who was responsible. No word from the police but the local jungle drums have come up with an id for one of the attackers, the one who hit him. Not sure how that helps but it is nice to put a face to the prat. We shall see if anything else develops.

In a strange way it is good to concentrate on something not cancer, but it isn't long before it comes back, Tracey has a date for her first Oncology clinic 28 July and had a very good draining session today. Her body already seems to have compensated for its loss so she may not need to go again, the fewer times we visit the RUH the better.

Chris xx

Oh don't start the carnival

It is difficult to explain the calm that has come over the house. Today is Melksham carnival and Party in the park. All the children are out, Tracey is relaxing and I have some time to do this, bliss! For my local friends I am really looking forward to a good carnival today and hope it will be an improvement on last years fine affair. For my Bridgwater friends what a piddling little carnival it is, over in 10 minutes and all the floats total rubbish, I can't wait for Pethy carnival in November. 

Although we normally go to party in the park we shall be giving it a miss tonight, the people, the jostling, the standing up is all a bit too much at the moment. I might be called in to action to go and rescue kids if they need it.

Well Tracey has her date for the first visit to the Oncologist 28th July, I am hoping we will then get some sort of diary for the future, the real pain has always been not knowing how the treatment will pan out. Tracey has included all the details on her blog so I won't bore you here

The last few days have been quiet we have managed a couple of walks (more about that later) and the kids have been their usual selves. The house retains it's usual level of sanity bordering on chaos and sanitary bordering on filthy. I think that those of us without a painful scar are beginning to think everything is Ok, I realise just how wrong that is and that we have plenty more to go through yet. But at least I am feeling positive.

Work has been going well, I am conscious of trying to pull my weight while this goes on around me. It is very difficult to take some security issues seriously and yet I know that they are serious and need the serious treatment. My little team are a wonderful bunch, a bit too testosterone dependent, a bit too male at times but always funny, supportive and willing to put you down when you are feeling far too sorry for yourself.

I had lunch on Friday with Michele and Julie at the cafe in Southwick park. I am beginning to really love the park. Dinner was lovely but what was better was the chat, Michele as enthusiastic as ever despite recent setbacks and Julie, dry, cynical and funny as hell. I'm glad Miche persuaded me to have these lunches.

I managed to get my old dear out for a walk last night and we decided to go along the canal east of the Barge Inn towards Devizes. It was a lovely walk punctuated by me taking irritating pictures. You can tell Tracey is feeling better as she commented on the posed picture of her on a bridge.

I suppose we all get a little bit fed up when some idiot keeps bringing the camera out. It was a good walk till the midges came out, then there was panic and a rush home.

So today is another day, washing, shopping, looking after the kids I'm beginning to feel like a housewife. I think I shall get the camera out later.

Chris xx

A northern hurricane, the land of talk and painted toenails

Nothing quite prepares you for a visit from Susie and Mary. It is just like, I would imagine, being hit by a hurricane. We had lots of notice, we cleared up, we moved the furniture to the edge of the room. Livi was home with boyfriend Sam (he was in for a shock) and we waited. We thought they might be a bit late as they were following directions and we knew they would not be with us for long. And then we got the call, directions were given and suddenly they were with us.

" How are you love?" Give us a kiss" "Where's the toilet?" 30 seconds gone, lots of hugs and the kettles on. Thelma and Louise have arrived, although perhaps we are talking about a female version of the Chuckle brothers. Toilet done and it's an ear assault. Mary is Tracey's mum's friend and Susie is her daughter. Mary is a bit deaf and Susie never(no never) stops talking. "Me mums (I'll spare Mary the age thing) ..and its like looking after a big kid". "I'm 40 years old, I never thought I'd make it". Susie has me Tracey pinned in the kitchen with tales of driving, partners, mobile phones and mothers. Meanwhile Mary is with Olivia and Sam looking at all our photos, reminiscing about previous visits and looking for something to iron. Nobody else can manage a word. They are both the most positive, life affirming, gorgeous people you can imagine. It's all over far too quickly. Come back soon.

The rest of the day and indeed the last few days have been pretty uneventful. The usual teen dramas "Where are my pink wellies, I left them here after camping at Easter" that was 20 minutes before starting work placement on Monday. They had been thrown out and I managed to find her another pair. " Mum, Dad I have to have a 17th century butlers outfit for a French play I am doing on Wednesday" this was Sunday so plenty of notice there. Eventually he did the play in a suit.

We also had a visit from a pair of people from the land of talk, Sue and Tony. I had met them in Sainsbury's and told them Trace was ok to visit. By the time I got home they were there and we listened and listened and listened. Sue has been a very good friend of the Tinsley family, in fact I doubt we would be in Melksham if it wasn't for her help. She has a huge heart and it is lovely to see her so happy with Tony. Anyway we listened to tales about people I don't think I know. Sometimes its good to listen.

Well it's been creeping up on me for a few days now. Finally I had to paint Tracey's toenails. I have done this before, when she broke her elbow last year and now it had to be done again. I should have washed them first.

And in all their glory

So there we are another few days of Tinsley life. I can manage to talk about without mentioning the C word. Talking of which Tracey is looking for a name for her cancer, I have suggested Maggie as in Thatcher or Tony as in Blair. Any other good ideas.

Chris x

Alarms, Rabbits and Drama queens

Well it's been a few days since my last blog but if you don't have anything to say my advice is not to say it. We have been living a life of blissful normality. Tracey is obviously off work and my work is still a bit in and out but all has a veneer of normality, nearly. But things do happen.

I am at last sleeping well and my temper has improved, that is good particularly as a short, fat man in a bad mood just looks funny. I would like to think it looks imposing or threatening, but no, just funny verging on the pathetic. I need to lose some weight to add to the fear. May be I should try body building.

A side effect of sleeping well is that the alarm clock is now waking me up, which is a good thing, well it would be if we hadn't changed sleeping sides in bed. The reason for the change of sides was to place me on the opposite side to Tracey's scar, not because I don't want to see it, just to allow it to heal. This part is working well. Unfortunately on Friday my alarm shocked me awake, I turned towards the side it would have been on pre-op and proceeded to turn off the alarm using Tracey's face. A tweak of the nose does not turn off an alarm and it took me a little while to realise that the alarm was elsewhere. The surprising thing is Tracey does not remember it, she too is sleeping well. That was a narrow escape as I know only too well what would have been tweaked if she had properly woken.

Of course the main recent event in Tinsley life was the return of the drama queen, on a train from Newquay. We had been getting small snippets of drama all week via the telephone, but nothing can compare to full on Olivia. We had been prepared for everything the following evening when Olivia reported that she had stubbed her little toe and it "proper hurt". She couldn't walk, wouldn't be able to get to the station and didn't know how she would cope. She wasn't looking forward to train journey home. Any way she did manage to get the pub on her last night. So I was looking forward to picking her up from Chippenham.

I was slightly late for the train, about 5 minutes, and we had a short, sharp conversation about where we were going next, home or casualty, me and Sam lost and the next 3 hours were spent in Chippenham minor injury unit. Just so you can all join in the fun here is what it looks like.

Of course the real thing is was it worth it, how bad is she, is it in a splint, has she got crutches, will they amputate? Well I have evidence of how severe the injury is.

Now I was going to have this at full size, but I suspect that you can see how bad the injury is by looking at this picture. The upshot to all this is, no xray machine available at the weekend, even if there was treatment would be the same, just leave it, go home. Another 3 hours of my life gone.

The big drama of the day was rabbits. They had been left out over night and had dug an escape tunnel. This is not unusual and we normally catch them fairly easily. They are pretty tame and stupid (like the Liberal Democrats, told you I would get in a dig at some point). One rabbit was easy, he ran for cover in his hutch, a good move. The other one, however, has discovered evasive maneuvers on a par with Raoul Moate (have you noticed how topical I have become, self indulgence). We just couldn't catch him.

He remained out for the whole of the day, it was starting to get dark when Adam decided it was time to catch him. Anyway, as you might of guessed, I took a few photos.

The trap

The Rabbit

Cornered

The Hunter

The rabbit took refuge under the shed. Eventually we got him out and trapped him in his own poly tunnel. He is now under hutch arrest. Next we are going for big game, may be a cat or even a dog, all we have to do is buy one.

Well on to the final child of the family. He was out most of yesterday and camped all night behind Neston Rec. He rang at 6:50 this morning for a lift back home and is still in bed. He was cold and feeling a bit sick, was drink involved? I hope he enjoyed himself and I hope he suffers for it.

As you can see from all this Tinsley life is recovering from the initial cancer shock, I am about to take Trace for a walk to buy the newspapers and it is Lamb for dinner, can't wait.

Chris x

The long walk

While we are waiting for chemo to start I have been looking at ways of filling my days. It's really the quiet bits, when you don't want to talk that are the problem. As I have said before I get a lot of these at work and I just walk out for a few minutes,problem over. Lunch time is a bit more difficult, 1 hour of not wanting to talk so I have taken to walking, listening to the Ipod and taking pictures. The walking is doing me some good. I am still very tired though and just want to sleep the day away.

Enough of me for a minute. David left today, he was able to drag Trace out for a bit and I shall try and keep that up. His visit was very different from Brenda's but still fun and gave me a chance to talk again (didn't take long to get back to me). Although I sometimes scoff at his northern homilies he does occasionally talk sense and I am more grateful than I let on for it.

I am not usually one to talk about sleeping arrangements but we now have separate duvet's in our superking sized bed, this means less fighting for the covers. They are only 4.5 tog so its cool nights all round. A great success.

And while we are talking about successes the Iphone charger has been found. There is a tale to tell, when Tracey went to hospital we discovered that although we were allowed the phone the charger could not be used as it was not PAT tested. So the charger was the (apparently) taken by me and subsequently lost as it was nowhere to be seen when Tracey got out. Well a week and half later it turns up in someones makeup bag. I am still waiting for the sorry.

Anyway back in to my head, I think I have returned to denial. I suppose it's the wait between treatments. When I look at my Trace she hasn't changed. OK one boob may be at a slightly jauntier angle than the other (thank you Frances) or she might be in her PJ's at 7:00 but she is still as she was a month ago, a year ago and she sounds much more positive, but I know that this is just a bit of respite until the next dose of treatment. It is probably a good time to sort the finances. I am not good at using my free time well, I have to learn.

Any way a real treat for you all. Today's photo's , if these are the best ones you should have seen the ones I got rid of. All from Southwick Park.

The first picture is the best, the dragonfly was laying eggs at the edge of the pond. They are Broad Chasers.

Anyway enough for today.

Bye Chris x