Self Indulgent, me?

I suppose, if you have ever read my blog, you will realise that it has changed from being something I needed to do, just to get things out of my head, to something that gives me a certain amount of enjoyment. A chance to express myself. The last 2 blogs have been that, a chance to do a bit about one of my favourite subjects, me. And I have to say I have enjoyed it.

However.

I was sitting in my office at work the other day and the door was opened by one of my colleagues, someone who's judgement I trust. We had a short conversation, "Read the Blog, bit self indulgent wasn't it" and of course I immediately saw what she was saying was true. I think I had forgotten the title of the of the Blog. This is about what the family are going through not me showing you my grand parents house, not a few pictures of the carnival. So it's back to business this time.

But there's the rub, the thing is you do get lost in the whole thing, Tracey becomes the cancer, I become "poor Tracey's husband", the kids are "those poor kids" everything revolves around this bloody disease and you begin to forget yourself. You don't know where the disease stops and you start. It could be I was just trying to bring a bit of myself back in to the equation, something cancer free. Or it could just be that I was being self indulgent.

Anyway this week is chemo 5, two to go. Getting nearer the end. Only don't say that to Trace. Every chemo is like the end of the world. One to go is not near the end, it is another visit to Hades, a descent in to hell . Pain and sickness, the threat of infection and the feeling of overwhelming dread. More poison pumping around the veins. This does not wind down, it crashes.

I have taken a few days off to see if we can get out while Tracey is feeling a bit better. Docetaxle has left Trace much achier (is that a word?) than the previous chemicals, but we might be able to get a few hours to ourselves in the next couple of days and stretch the legs a little. A little sight seeing would bolster the spirits. All time spent together and feeling OK is to be treasured.

Everything else is very normal, I was mauled by a rabbit last night and the boys continue to try and get out of doing the washing up. My car never leaves Olivia. I am told there is now make up on the passenger seat. I still get stifled by a Vanilla air freshener every time I get in it. Vaughan's team lost to Weston hornets at Rugby and Adam never left the house all weekend.

Another Tinsley week over and a new one just begun.

Chris

Nostalgia, it ain't what it used to be

Sorry to bang on about the carnival, it is special so I have got a link to a Youtube video of some of the best carts. You can find it here. It just gives a better impression of the size, noise and action on the carts.

The other reason to for going to North Petherton is nostalgia. Pethey is my spiritual home, I wasn't born there, that honour goes to Somerset Bridge nearby, but I did spend most of my youth there so it is in my soul. My mother and father, uncle, grand parents and great grand parents are all buried there. I always take a chance to have a good wander round.

It's strange going back to places you once loved, change always happens, everything is a little smaller and you never bump in to anyone you know. Where were David Carter and Mike Hellier? Moved away like the rest of us I expect (although at my age some might be in the graveyard, more of that later). Anyway I took my usual walk around the town with my kids, Livi's boyfriend Sam and Lyn's son Sean. It's always nice to have them bring you down. As I walked dewy eyed past my old primary school my eldest son said "I suppose your going to tell us about how the boys were separated from the girls and infants in the playground dad, again. You always do". He must be psychic because I was. Do I really repeat myself year after year? It's just practice for my dotage.

Well after that set back I decided to let the kids look after themselves for a while as I charged on towards the cemetery. Sean played with all the big kids and I kept out of the way. It was about 4 and people were already starting to line up.

Sean and Adam, never parted

When we got to the cemetery I immediately headed for my parents grave. I am not a maudlin person, I don't need to visit at regular intervals, I don't need to place flowers but when we have time the whole family enjoys a quick shuffle around and to check all is in order. Apart from needing a good spruce up it was fine. It's a little cremation plot.

Tinsley resting place

We moved on to my uncle Gilberts grave and had a little look at the others nearby. These are all recent graves and it is uncomfortable to see an old school friend amongst them. Not a close friend, someone I played football with in Primary school. I suppose it's just a reminder of your own mortality and I don't think that that is needed right now.

Anyway we continued around the churchyard. I know my gran and grandad graves are no longer there. Not sure what happened but they just no longer exist, there was a stone but now it's gone. But my grans father and mother are there, the Petersens. I never knew John but have some vague recollections of granny Petersen.

There is a good view from the cemetery, after a few moments Looking up to Dancing Hill and Kings Cliff we started our walk back, specially designed to take in my grand parents house at   1 Butts Corner. What a great name, no idea why it's called that but it keeps the kids happy. Of course it looks much smaller than it used to and the garden has been cut in half to put in another house, but I still like it.

Yes it's part of a bottom

After this we visited my uncle Michael and Aunty Val for a little and of course jean was there. I don't get to see uncle Michael nearly enough and it is lovely to talk to him.

My last special treat was the final part of the walk back to Lyn. I took a detour past my old house (much to Sean's chagrin). The street looks a little like Beruit and the houses are all tiny. There are cars everywhere. How did we ever play cricket and football up and down the street? Any way here's me in front of 14 Millbay, the porches are new.



Is it little or am I just bigger?

 The final part of our walk took us past one of the best back street boozers around, the Globe. I don't know how it is still there but it is. It was never my pub in Pethey, that was the George, but it has always held a place in my affections and there's a picture of some of my relatives pushing a pram by the brook, taken when they were children in the 1930's on the wall.

Drink here

So there you are, a little nostalgic visit to my past.

Chris x

Carnival special

Or Somerset boy goes mad with camera, in Somerset.

I love the Somerset carnivals, it gives me chance to go back to roots and to see my cousin Lyn, Malc, Sean and My brother and Susan (and my uncle Michael, Val, Jean....). Also North Petherton carnival, the second of the best illuminated carnivals in the World. It takes more than 2 hours to pass, I won't say much more I'll just leave you with a big bunch of pictures. None of the pictures or even the videos give a real impression of the size and the noise of a Somerset carnival cart (not float!). I have included a tractor picture to give it that rural feel.

Jeanette

 

 

And this is but a small part of my collection.

Chris x