Christmas day (and A&E)

Alright, it all sounds a bit more dramatic than it actually turned out to be but we did start Christmas day in A&E at the RUH in Bath. Let me explain.

Friday was the day for the removal of the PICC line. Tracey's arm had been feeling a little strange for a few days and was red around the entry sight. I don't want to go in to too many details as I am sure Tracey will do that but by the time we got to the chemo ward it was red and tracking up her arm. The tube was duly removed (ouch!) and after a very wet behind the ears doctor had had a look Tracey was given some anti-biotics. She also drew a line in Biro around the red and told us to go to A&E if the redness crept passed the line.

As the evening wore on the redness became worse, we didn't want to go to A&E but by 10:00 the redness had crept at least 1 inch passed the line on all sides. So after a quick call to the cancer ward it was in the car at 10:30 and off to Bath, all close relatives duly informed. We were expecting A&E to be full of drunks but it was actually really quiet.

We had the usual 5 minutes of attention followed by 30 minutes of nothing. I gave Tracey her Happy Christmas kiss at 12:05. Our nurse was a funny man, Irish and gay (I think). He seemed to be under the impression that we ought to know him. "Oi'm very well known around Bath". Well we didn't know him and he seemed a bit miffed that we didn't recognise him. He then proceeded to tell us about his thesis for some sort of exam, it was to do with using social media to self diagnose. He was lucky, I had my MSc thesis ready and on the tip of my tongue, how he would have loved 20 minutes on filing. But I decided it would be too exciting for him and let him witter on.

The high points of the visit were a rendering of happy birthday to a nurse just after midnight and the police escorting a young man in. He didn't seem to be drunk but was kept under close surveillance whenever he came in to view. We were cleared to leave at about 01:00.

So we left, but one last thing, as we went to the car there was a fox walking past it and he looked at us, slowly walking to a safe distance away to watch us go. He may even have waved. Somebody was looking over us?

So it was late to bed and late up. Of course we hadn't wrapped any presents and didn't until we woke up(obviously). On Christmas morning it was wrap, wrap, wrap only punctuated by Adam frantically texting us to see if we were ready yet. So then it was presents and all the thing people do on Christmas day. I won't bore you with the details partly because I expect we all had similar days. I have got a lot of reading to do now and a DVD to watch (I nearly put video, how old am I). The sloe gin I made tastes wonderful, that will soon go. Vaughan took a photo of our table settings, very artistic.

I was a bit disappointed with Dr Who, not the great fun and frightening Christmas special I expected, but was more than happy with a lot of other TV, the Royles were back on form. To round of the day I gave Adam a hammering at chess. I am sure he will soon beat me.

So that's it Christmas in a big spice and snowball filled nutshell. Can't wait to do the new year update.

Chris x

Felicitations

Well the turkey and veg are well and truly purchased, a mixture of farm shop veg and Sainsbury's meat. I've bought Livi some Archers and Vaughan may have a beer with me. Adam is still too young although he may help with a little bit of the sloe gin as he helped to pick the sloes. I know he won't like it. "And wine for the lady sir?" Yes we have rose and red, oh and a little port for later. We have coke, lemonade, tonic and enough orange juice for breakfast at the Savoy. There are nuts, crackers and chocolates, biscuits, cheese and mustard. Ho, ho, ho Christmas is nearly here. Are we ready, yes we are.

Something tells me we ought to celebrate hard this year. It has been a bit of a difficult year to say the least, lots of pain and tears and loving and hugs. It has changed us as a family in ways which we will probably begin to realise as next year unfolds. But I won't continue down this line as that is for my new year missive.

Tomorrow should be the last time in the chemo suite, to have the PICC line removed. From now on its good old safe radiation, I will be able to find my wife glowing in bed each night. A new treatment, a new beginning. To wave away the PICC line I took a couple of better photos of it, this is not goodbye to an old friend, it's just farewell to a blood clot.

They were tiring days, Tuesday and Wednesday. The decs went up and I had to persuade Tracey that we needed to buy a turkey now! Not Thursday, not after hospital on Christmas eve but now. And how she fought, but I wore her down and we now have a fine bird in the fridge. We also bought crispy Chinese duck with pancakes and ho sin sauce for starter, that will be a bit different.

Putting the decs up was fun, we have a new artificial tree, a slimline white one from B&Q. Adams hates it. Tracey was worried about what we might bring in with a real one, she is still suffering from the risk of infection. But all the decs went up. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

So here we are, still tidying and still waiting for the patter of reindeer feet on the roof. I watched the last half of The Santa Claus, most of Shrek and have seen some of an old Two Ronnies Christmas special. I have sung a few carols and listen to some Christmas songs. The family are trying to get me to play some games but I am still resisting.

There are old family things going on here, Tracey gets desperate to play games with the kids, she puts it down to not having siblings to play with until Chris arrived and even he is much younger than her so wasn't much game fun. I hate playing games, to a point. I spent the whole of my youth engaging in wars with my brother which has scarred me when it comes to competitive games. All games must be played to within an inch of our lives. When I do relent though I really enjoy it especially when I win ( as I almost always used to do against my brother, as I have said before he will never read this).

Well only a short blog. I just wanted to make sure I had time to say

Happy Christmas Everybody

Thanks for everyones support this year and thanks for all the support I know we will get in the future.

Chris x

Reflections snoitcelfeR

Some of you will had read Tracey's last posting (I nearly put "last post" which sounds rather foreboding) in which she speculates on her future. If you haven't go and read it now because I am going to comment on it.

At some stage in this processes we were always going to get to the point of looking at the prognosis for the future. Bluntly how long is Tracey going to survive. It feels horrible to write that, no one looks at me and says "Chris, I give you 12 years, both your parents died in their 50's, and with improved medical science I give you till your mid 60's". But of course Tracey has had a real view of her mortality and there has been plenty of research done in to survival rates of cancer patients. When Tracey last saw the Oncologist he gave her a figure of 70% survival after 10 years. I'm not sure what the survival figures would be on average for someone of Tracey's age. Since then Tracey has been doing a bit of personal research on the Internet and come up with the figure between 30%-50%. As a family we tend towards the half empty rather than half full so this is the figure lodged in her mind. We are both experts in the field now and can dismiss the Oncologists statement, his training and his years of work. Of course either of us could drop down dead tomorrow or be part of a car/bus sandwich at any time. But with good health I would hope we could reasonable survive in to our 80's, I've been looking forward to a long penniless (thank you David Cameron) retirement. 

So what has happened is that we have had to reassess our future. Only gently at the moment as Tracey still has to go through radio and hormone therapy. There is a feeling that Chemo is the  end of it all but it is only the beginning. What do we do now? I think the only answer to this is to begin to live life to the full. Do all the things that we have always wanted to do. Of course I don't just mean long weekends spent with a pole dancer from Belarus or spending the week as sleep in help to a busy fire station. I mean getting out and about. visiting all the people and places we want to see, getting all the chickens and dogs we have ever wanted to keep, watching the kids grow up and providing them with all the help we can. Being a bit more outgoing and a little more selfish. Less time worrying more time doing. File this under the new Tinsley's.

That aside what week it has been, snow and ice, a new apprentice and a new Strictly winner, I have been beside myself with excitement. On the downside no Rugby. A few more snow photos including Adam's wonderful snowman with satsumas and a carrot.

 

Waiting now for the District nurse and yet another visit to the RUH.

Chris x

Wickets falling, All around me

Yes I am watching the test match and England are on the verge of losing. Perhaps by the time you read this they will be all out, Australia on the ascendancy and the Ashes lost. Perhaps not.

Its been my last pre-Christmas week at work this week, a quiet week. This is partly because I have been in the Docs for a very minor op to remove skin tags from my eyelids. The worst part, as always, was the very painful injection (yes I know, wuss) although this was nearly beaten by the disconcerting heat next to the eyeball as a growth in the eyelashes was cut out. I had sore eyes for a couple of days and a very small black eye. Not much in the scheme of things but I just wanted to show you all that I am brave too. And yes I've managed to take a few photos of my distress for you all to see.

If you look very closely you can see a (tiny) bit of blackness on the right eye and marks on the eyelashes of the left eye.

Tracey has had a quiet week this week, apart from the usual family (Olivia) arguments. She has been down at the bottom of her chemo "cycle" but her mum has been here to look after her until the threat of snow (more about that later). So we have gently moved forward. We are looking at the end of chemo and the PICC line is due out on Christmas Eve. Talking of PICC lines some of you might be wondering what we have been making a fuss about. I have tried to grab a little photo of it this week, Tracey is a bit reluctant to have me prying but I have managed a few fuzzy shots.

The tube enters her body just above the inside of the elbow and follows a vein in to Tracey's chest. Yuk! This has been the scene of much action and fiddling. "Is it clear?" "Can we draw blood?" "No we can't". What you can't see is the surround redness which is caused by Tracey reacting to the tape which is used to hold on the protective gauze. Down by her wrist is an elasticated covering which is stretched over it to keep the whole lot in place. The whole lot is usually covered by a long sleeve. How she has managed to keep this protected for so long I just can't imagine.

So Thursday morning Tracey's mum left, the threat of snow was just too much and for safety's safe she had to go then or run the risk of getting stuck here. She had a good journey home before the bad weather.

Brenda has made a trip up to look after her daughter and just as importantly look after all of us every time Tracey has had chemo. She has cooked, cleaned, cuddled and kissed. She has given hugs when needed, advice whether wanted or not and kept Tracey protected when she has been at her lowest. She will of course still come and visit and we will go down to Cornwall when the time right. I just want to say thanks to her. Thanks isn't enough but it is all I have at the moment. Also Roger needs a big thanks at this time. He has been largely left out of all this and I know he has been worried. He has not seen Tracey since June I think, I am sure it has been lonely for him for the last few months with his wife spending so much time with us, well you've got her back now Rog, fewer Tesco Indians for you from now on. I will miss the phone calls.

Talking of Snow two snow things to tell you about. I have Skyped an old friend of mine Bob Pells, who Tracey and I used to work with in Plymouth. Bob now lives in Iceland with Birgetta and his 2 young girls and I haven't talked to him for 14 years. I love Bob, he is an old, surly, curmudgeon who can crease me up will a well chosen moan. He is a boy from Tavistock who is now an international glob trotter. He was always an American at heart and Iceland is half way there. I talked to him for an hour and a quarter, far longer than I usually talk. We will talk again next week. Bob has 2 beautiful daughters, a shy one and a noisy one. He taught me everything I know about computers and then I learnt a lot more. 

And here there be snow! I was up early and walked my daughter to work in the snow. Initially she wasn't going to go and then we walked through town. Most of the snow was virgin, the roads had been used and one or two vehicles slipped and slid. I was cold and wet but the snow makes it all better. Time for a few more pics. 

My winter Wonderland



A350

  

 

So there it is, Christmas week and snow on the ground. Loads of shopping to do and no decks ups (virtually none). Looking forward to a nice holiday.

Chris xx

Back on line

OK, so it has been a little time and at least one of you out there is waiting for this post (thank you Lyn), but to be honest I have not had the inclination to post and when I have I have had to fight the kids for computer time. Well this weekend Adam is away and the other two are in their bedrooms so now is my time.

Its not been a bad month (for me). Docetaxl doesn't seem to wipe Tracey out quite as much as FEC, even her hair has started to grow back, so things are a little better. And we have just gone through the last dose so by Christmas  the pain and suffering of chemo should be behind us (there I go again, when I say we and us I mean Tracey). Only radio therapy, hormone therapy and the continual worry about recurrence of the disease to go through. That should last us for the rest of our lives.

The good bit is that I won't have to watch Tracey going downhill again in the new year. Today, the day after chemo, Tracey's face is very red and she didn't have a good nights sleep. We share this experience by me having all the sleep she missed so I now feel brilliant and well rested. She is hot and aching. over the next few days she will go off her food and there is the risk of infection. We will all walk on egg shells as she gets more and more tetchy. I will try and keep out of the way. But by Christmas this will be over, no more chemo, end of, finito. I can't tell you how good that feels.

Just because I haven't posted doesn't mean we haven't done anything, indeed last weekend we had our first Christmas meal of the season with Tracey's dad, David and his wife Heather. And a fine fare it was too, much food and a little drink with Party hats but no presents. Cooked by my beautiful wife to perfection.

And of course there has been the weather, just a bit. Not the bleak mid winter of northern climes but a dusting of snow and ice. I managed to get Tracey out for an afternoon walk along the canal and of course took just 1 or 2 photos.

This was taken in my favourite spot where I have taken the photos of Adam



An icy canal



Icy trees



The funny thing is that on these walks you sometimes come across things that you don't expect. For my last photo I have captured a few remnants of Wiltshire County Council that haven't yet been re-branded, long may they remain so.  

Elsewhere I have not seen my car for a month, it seems to be Livi's at the moment. I drop the boys off at school in the big car and Livi gets to keep my car. It has been places I don't want to know about. On the few occasions I have had access to it I get pinned to the seat by the volume of the CD/radio when I start it up.

There has been little to no rugby, Vaughan stays in his bedroom trying to avoid human contact. Adam is on a Duke of Edinburgh thing. Both the boys are extremely annoying when they are together, or am I just old and bad tempered?

Thank you students for showing that the British still do have it in them to protest, my MP who is a Lib/Dem, will never get my vote and I shall be voting against AV, partly because the only purpose of the system suggested is to produce a three party system not a two party one so the Lib/Dems are always in power and mainly to stick up 2 fingers at Clegg. Bring on the revolution.

Chris x